Take Up Space: Why Self-Care Matters

Think about your calendar right now. What takes up space there?

Your child's soccer practice, the weekly team meeting, grocery shopping, your partner's birthday dinner, house chores, budget planning, school events, meal prep, home repairs, work deadlines, and family obligations are just a few things you have to manage.

Yes, your doctor and dentist appointments might be on there, too. While these are forms of self-care, they're often the minimum maintenance we allow ourselves. They're usually scheduled only when necessary, sometimes after postponing them multiple times.

All important things. All worthy of your time and attention.

But where are you on that list?

We Make Space for Everything But Ourselves

It's interesting how we create and protect space for what matters in our lives:

• We plan our children's nutrition, researching options and preparing meals

• We investigate schools and educational opportunities, attending parent-teacher conferences

• We spend evenings helping with math homework, science projects, and reading assignments

• We coordinate extracurricular activities, driving across town for dance classes and swim lessons

• We manage family finances, creating budgets and planning for the future

• We maintain our homes, ensuring they're clean and functional

• We dedicate ourselves to career growth, taking on projects and working late

• We nurture relationships, remembering birthdays and anniversaries

• We care for pets, plants, and possessions with attention

Yet somehow, in this carefully choreographed dance of responsibilities, we fail to carve out space for our well-being.

Beyond Basic Maintenance: Meaningful Self-Care

There's a difference between basic self-maintenance (like medical appointments and hygiene) and self-care that nourishes your spirit and energy.

While you might schedule those annual physicals or dental cleanings, ask yourself: Do you create space for self-care that brings you joy, peace, and renewal? The kind that fills your cup rather than just preventing it from cracking?

There's a reason flight attendants instruct you to secure your oxygen mask before helping others. It's not selfish—it's survival. And more importantly, it's the only way you can continue to be there for those who need you.

When we neglect to make space for self-care, we're essentially trying to pour from an empty cup. We're running on fumes, operating from a deficit; eventually, something has to give.

That "something" is usually:

• Our physical health

• Our mental well-being

• Our emotional stability

• Our joy and fulfillment

• Our patience and compassion

Taking Up Space Is Necessary

Let's be clear: creating space for yourself is necessary.

Self-care isn't about expensive spa days or elaborate retreats (though those can be nice). It's about treating yourself with the same consideration, respect, and care you extend to everyone else.

It's about acknowledging that you deserve time, attention, and nurturing.

How to Create Space for Yourself

Here's how to begin taking up space in your own life:

1. Schedule it like any other appointment

Your self-care deserves to be on your calendar with the same permanence as your child's doctor appointment or work meeting. Block off time—even just 15 minutes—and treat it as non-negotiable.

2. Start small but be consistent

Self-care doesn't need to be time-consuming. A daily five-minute meditation, a short walk, or reading a few pages of a book can be powerful when done consistently.

3. Set boundaries

Practice saying "no" to additional responsibilities when your plate is full. Every "yes" to someone else is often a "no" to yourself.

4. Identify what nourishes you

Not all self-care looks the same. For some, it's solitude and silence. For others, it's connection and conversation. Know what replenishes your energy.

5. Address the guilt

"Let go of guilt" is easier said than done. When guilt arises about taking time for yourself, notice it. Name it. Then, remind yourself that self-care makes you more effective in everything else you do. Try self-soothing techniques like deep breathing or positive self-talk when guilt convinces you that your needs matter less than others.

Your Turn

Creating space for yourself is as essential as creating space for everything else.

You make time for your children's activities, work responsibilities, and household tasks. Now, make time for yourself.

Put it on your calendar. Defend it. Prioritize it.

Take up space